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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Rude Awakening...

Restlessness strikes our life from time to time. Our desires unmet, curiosity unsatiated, pain unmended, and weariness unended. There are times we attempt not to satisfy these things any longer because we have too oft been faced with disappointment. In these times, rather than working towards a goal, we linger far behind, and like trying to whitewash over a thing, we do not attempt more than to satisfy our craving for our truest life with other things. But the hunger never stops. The craving for life as we are meant to live it never leave our souls, because it is not a thing that can be separated -- it is within us, within our soul, a piece of our spirit. Our calling will not cease to call.
It is when we ignore our innermost self that it begins to cry the loudest. In this moment, we make the silliest mistakes, and act least like ourselves, and act out, until we are rudely wakened to that very realization.

I woke up recently. I had acted as unlike myself as possible, and felt disgusted. It was the sort of rude awakening in which I felt I had found myself in sludge instead of silk. I had to get out of that as quickly as possible. I realized I had ceased to be a lady -- even my pursuit to be a lady! I had allowed the inelegance of the charmless coffee shop at which I work to drain me of my elegance. I had allowed myself to slip into a lonely sadness, one so drained of energy that it sought attention or distraction where it would. My kindness began to fade, my gratitude embarrassing, and my self-control, lacking. And then came the unfortunate mistakes. Silly ones that I ought never have made. For these mistakes, I am deeply sorry. In my embarrassment I removed any element of distraction from my fingertips, and hastily began to right myself. Again I'm beginning to stand taller, speak more eloquently and feel the deep joy that comes only from answering my call. My burst of energy after my pursuits has quickly been answered, and I'm righting myself. I can't help but what wonder if I had not let me lose myself for even a moment, but such thoughts I realize are a waste of energy - a step backwards when I am trying to move forward. So here I am, glad to feel elegantly like myself once again, and very sorry to anyone I may have hurt (or more likely, left bewildered).


~ Aimée, 2010


"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone." - Audrey Hepburn

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Restored

All in one moment my heart was left
of love, of life and of romance bereft
Such speech ne'er left a soul so dead
No prose ere before left a spirit so black.
Deny it as I would, neither bleak spirit,
nor empty soul could stay secret for long
So loud it cried when to the surface it came
that to my rescue another romantic hied
How my heart unraveled at his words
a counterlogic my heart could not've spell'd
those words unwound these tight binds
and broke the darkness, lifted me to light
What magic is this? Only romantics could know
Yea fortune brought such tenderness to mend
a heart as hardened and broken as this
A heart that nigh swore it felt no longer
but a heart near cursed to die without love
Jamais, jamais, was the unhappy cry of my heart,
now toujours it says to romance, joy anew...

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Set Free

I want to run away
it's time to start anew
start a new life
without the memories
borrowed from the past
or old emotions so untrue
I want to revel in the now
with new lives to love
past positive is not enough
future dreamers, faux love

I want to live as I should
I want to live in the here. now.
Borrowed memories of the past
have held on too long,
I wonder why they last?
Let them not linger on.

No there is no closure
there is only life to be lived
only a new dance in my feet
a new voice in my throat
longing to be let free
to let me sing my new song
the one I've harbored so long
the one I've practiced in secret
in a silence I've abhorred
the silence where I'm ignored

My wings have grown strong
my feathers clipped no more
I'm watching the sun rise
as the light fills my new day
the new dawn over a sea
That separated life from me.


© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Friday, December 10, 2010

Wake from the Past.

Wake up. O awake.
I'm letting go, getting free
setting up a new story.
It's time to awake
to a dream afresh
to a dream unknown
Time to wake from
a past so dreary
memories so broken
Wake up now. Wake up.
I can't do this anymore
Lingering memories
in the form of bodies
that carry unfamiliar faces
and now I know
as I've grown, they stayed
the past is not the same
Wake up now. Wake up.
The past is no longer a friend.
No the past, the present,
are friends no more.
It's time to wake to the future
Time to set myself free
to take courage for a new story
My story. A story all my own.
Wake up now. Wake up.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010