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Monday, April 25, 2011

Aiskhulos

I think of you often
I think it haunts me what I've done
Many times I've begun to write to you
Thoughts of your grief pester my heart,
The words I wish to tell itch in my mind
But the fear keeps my hands from writing

Not one blot of ink leaves my pen,
Not one word could make it to you.
The ghosts of your questions linger here
You faced apparitions of me and
waited for letters that ended with my name,
those letters that never came

My heart could fast be destroyed
in so simple as one delicate stroke
Your hand was much too hard
brute elegance left me scattered
I became as an apparition
I hid my heart in terror of your voice

Those letters that wrote themselves inside
always were quick to burn themselves
My apology may never reach you,
My letter will never make it to your hands
I still find myself too terrified of you
of what you'd do...


© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2011

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Evaporate Me.

My stomach is sick
churning with thoughts of you
As I see all I hoped for
dissolve
in one fatal utterance
a future split
I feel the fear rise in my throat
as the tears trickle back
and my head falls forward
I feel myself dissolving
dissipating
evaporating before you
as my heart bursts
the very fabric of my life
coming together
rips apart
Sewn together as one
we'll once again be two
My eyes prick with regret
I feel my cheeks grow hot
What just was gained
I now fear will be lost
So soon?
Must it be already?
I've only just gained you
and can't swallow the
idea that I'll lose you so soon


© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2011

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Within

There is one who makes my soul awake
one who wakes my dreams from sleep
There is one who weeps with me
but makes my sorrows part from within

You are the one who makes me more
more than I remembered I wanted to be
Your heart is half of mine, and without it
I lived half-hearted, shy dancer in the dark

My feet were made to dance when you lit my toes
We dance through the fire together, unafraid
With your hand in mine, I forgot the fear,
plunged into dream-filled fits, creative fervor

When sorrows tore at my breaking heart
you held it close, mending it so tenderly
You wept with me til we grew tired of tears
and in your arms, we laughed as if one

The terrors of night crumbled in our eyes
plaster from eyelids, ashes dusting from lashes
Dreams grew bright until day wore dim
and life grew stronger without from within


© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2011

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Dreamless Void

There was something about my bleeding heart,
my broken soul as moody as the changing sky
How I've tried to ignore this endless, languishing sorrow
but it always makes itself known to me all the more

Just as the skies roll with thunder, and gleam
with the breaking sunlight, so my heart rumbles
and thunders and breaks, while my lips shine
with a smile not to be subverted or be undone

Without warning, from the fracture comes the break
Watch how the tears come flooding! a deluge
of heartbreak, of pitiable wretchedness, a fractured
heart brimming with undiluted brokenness

So long were hopes caught as falling stars!
Everlong was sorrow put off in favor of hopes
and dreams urgently awaiting to be fulfilled,
fingers streaming with stories urging to be writ

As a virus, an illness that slowly overtakes the body
a lacuna formed between hopes and dreams and
all that was, until the gap grew. The interruption
became an all-embracing void, a starless, dreamless pit...


© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2011