Hearts throb. gentle. in vain.

There are times

I find

my heart throbs

gently, in vain

There are signs

I know

when my heart breaks,

brutally in pain

It is because

I am alone

and have none

to be with me.

It is because

I am free

I know how to be.

Perfectly.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2009

Breathe

Somehow

I forgot to breathe

and somewhere

I forgot to be

I neglected myself

my very essence

held captive

by worry and fear

I forgot to breathe

to be so carefree

To dance with the wind

to live as I once knew how

God, help me

teach me to remember

show me something new

remind me to breathe

When a love was

snatched from me

my heart left my chest

and my life left me alone

But now I remember life

even without love

that life that worked its magic

and then taught, brought me love

I want to dance again, dear wind.

oh, sun, teach me to laugh again

dear waters, teach me to talk

oh night, teach me to whisper

Life, teach me

Show me again how to be

and Love, come to me

introduce us once again

Life has taught me to breathe

Day has taught me to smile

Laughter will soon show his face

Ah, how I welcome life and love!

I've missed you so!

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2009

Eclipse

Why do I lack?

Where do I falter?

My words blot black

My dream: my assaulter

I hide from the light

I seek refuge in the stars

My future was so bright

But now dreams are so far

I dare not look through my eyes

I find I fear the very thing I sought

So I hide beneath night's guise

to eclipse the fear with which I'm fraught

My eyes are dark with night

My smile, forgotten but by moon's arc

By day I disremember my plight

But night makes wounds grow stark

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2009

Color Pulse

There is love in my heart

a sound

a song

a taste of sweet colors

Chords crash through my mind

A rainbow hides 'neath my eyelids

I feel light melting from my fingers

Sound spraying through my mind

Close your eyes!

Black canvas all around

Sprayed full with life

formed full by passion's eye

A song beats through my heart

it claps about my ears

I see the sound in full color

I feel the song in deepest depth

I have no way to express the song

for no music do I play

The song is what I see 

The sound is color, the notes manifest

The rhythm of  life

longs to be birthed by a vessel

The song that longs to be seen, heard

is trapped because of deaf ears

The breath of the ages

The song all of nature sings

is made mute

by our untrained, unseeing eyes

The colors of the sky's pulse

never pierce our conscience eye

The synesthetic throb of the worlds

is drowned out by our counter-babel

My eyes know, and open to see

What songs the world sings

My heart is open to the pulse all 'round me 

In it, I will thrive with life

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2009

Mushrooms and Painted Skies

I find myself sitting on the brick steps in front of a lovely old house. The house is two-story, painted green, with knick-knacks and a few metal-wrought tables and chairs decorating the porch. Up a set of well-worn stairs, a cozy coffee shop is tucked away. There, the walls are painted warm colors, paintings are hung, and scattered everywhere. A few of my pieces hang around too. I'm quite proud of those. They're so surrealistic, and I'm always surprised to find that the brush that paints so smoothly is in my hand.
The muted tone of the band playing ukelele's and horns comes flooding out of doors and reaches my ears. I am on sitting on sun-warmed bricks, my fingers wrapped around my choker necklace, fiddling with the glassblown mushroom, trapped in a teardrop of glass. I watch as the sky floods through shades of color.

First the sky becomes a wash of blues, that fade to purple. A smashing pink lights up the horizon, purple candy clouds dance away from the sun. The sky fades to the most beautiful orange. "Thank you," I whisper. I knew God knows what my favorite color is, but I hardly realized that He loved to create the perfect orange, and to decorate the sky with it - just for me.
A man came and sat down next to me. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Mhm," I barely answer, lost in the beauty of the shifting oranges of the sky, the licorice and lavendar clouds, and the sweet scent of the sun-warmed evening.

The band had stopped playing, and I heard someone else strumming softly on his guitar, singing love songs or lullabies. His voice sounded like love itself as it is whispered to your heart. But his song ends, and I hear someone else play something more upbeat, on a soft electric. His voice sounds almost sad, and I feel suddenly as though my heart wants to know a thousand secrets, but has a thousand more to tell.
I suddenly realize I have been sitting for quite a long time, as my backside has lost all feeling on the hard, unforgiving brick.
I stand up, and lean against a wall; it's siding that has been painted purple, and decoratively painted with what looks like the potential for a faerie tale. I think it looks silly, but in the evening's glow, it somehow enchants me.
To the right of me is a low wall around the porch, between which I had been sitting on the steps. A cat is laying there, so lazy and self-satisfied. He has long gray fur, and his fluffy, ragged-looking tail flips about lazily, as if swatting something in his half-sleep. His fur rippples with his purring. I reach out and pet him.
I reach down, smoothing my sun-yellow skirt, then peer back at the boy who joined me. "What took you so long?"

-end part 1- (possibly more to come...)

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2009

Omitted.

Sometimes, I wake up
and I realize that
something has been omitted.
It isn't missing
But it isn't there.
It's been deleted
but never on purpose
It was an accident.
It defied destiny.
and it continues to defy
what it was meant for.

Sometimes, as I fall asleep
I remember something
and I see past its deletion.
I grow sad as I think about
what had been
what could have been
and what, now, instead
is not.

Sometimes, when I'm dreaming
I forget what disappeared.
In dreaming, I find
that I have begun to live
as though it were.
I live in dreams
and dwell in warmth
I live that life,
and breathe that happiness.

But sometimes I wake up,
and I find the bed is cold
that the room is empty,
that the locket was dreamed
that you were not inside
and I was not in anyones arms.

Sometimes I wake
and in waking,
I still dream -
and the bed is warm
as if you were there,
and as if you still are here.

Sometimes I live.
and I go through my life,
forgetting the omitted,
and living all else that I know
I'm meant to have
and knowing who I'm meant to be
But the omitted is not filled.
merely ignored.

Sometimes I imagine.
But sometimes,
I imagine nothing at all.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2009

Lost Loves

Life sounds so lonely right now

The air is empty

and the space beside me is cold

Where did the warm air go?

The air so full of breath

so filled with laughter?

Why does it sound hollow?

The sound of laughter is gone

and I long to hear the crashing of waves

There is no music in the air

If only to hear a guitar strumming

filling the summer's night sky with life

To hear the sound of laughter!

The sound of dancing feet

To the song of life, and clapping hands

To feel the sand between my toes

and to feel the warmth of bodies all round

as their laughter makes the stars twinkle brighter

How I miss the stars in the sky

and the sand on which we laid,

and the loves with whom I could gaze

How I miss the breeze

and the arms around me

that kept me warm

How I miss those friends

who would play their songs

while I danced under nights blanket

The night has been long

but my heart hurts no more,

for I see the dawn breaking....

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2009

A Lonely Memory

There lingers a lonely feeling

A feeling of something forgotten

and yet undiscovered

There is a place in my heart

that is numb with cold

desperate for a retired warmth

There is something

so indescribable

though regrettably familiar

That feeling of complacency

suddenly is made worthless

and is happily forgot

I remember someone...

several people

and a love we shared

I remember friends

-what fools we were!-

the bond that was, ...still unsevered

I recall a life I had

and compare it 

to what I now have not

My heart mourns

that I have not these friends

that we share no laughter and tears

Something has gone missing

in my heart

and has yet to reappear

My friends, though good 

there were times 

when things were foul.

I wish for another chance

a chance with such fools as they

so I can laugh and cry and share again

We're all different now

and I know my self, my heart

so much better now...

But we've all gone our ways

and soon shall be long forgot,

though memories may stay fond

I hope this loneliness will leave

and I pray my heart will mend

for if it goes on, it will be my end

I yearn for something new,

something I've not yet had

but something old I miss so dear...

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2009

Resolve

Many a time

Have I been foolish

In love before

  

But now all I can hope

Is that I will be foolish

No more

    

I pray my patience

And undying love

Will not be for naught

    

I hope that my prayers

For his rescue

Will find not be forgot

     

My hope for him is strong

And my prayers, concise,

Yet never too long

     

My heart for him is true

And my love,

Pierces through

      

His eyes, when ours meet

Are still recognizable

Though his words, at times, despise-able

    

Though he runs through chaos

Insecure, searching in vain

I have felt it all, all his pain

    

At present, though it seems

He has no resolve

Ah! Soon! Fear will soon dissolve

      

My heart is content

I have found rest, peace

For I know chaos will soon cease

     

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2009