Fear of the Lonely

There is a fear I see, a fear I know

it marks thy heart as blood in snow

In that moment, yea, ye tarried too long

an' now realize too late what you had wrong

What is this fear of loneliness you bear?

I recognize the self-same fear for it is...

all too irrational, not uncommon...

Yea, it is innately, irrevocably human.

A fear that threatens alone, to grow old

and with time, thy heart'll grow cold

It seems once two hearts together fail

all hearts become farther from ones own

Only the souls not fully severed seem alive

thy heart reverts -nay, resorts! - to faded love

Loves not well-suited to ones wounded heart

to the touch that would never, in truth, satisfy

In fear, all hope of true unrelenting love is distant

Marry, at times one deems such love as nonexistent!

Nay, destiny'd not be fraught with such loveless fate

Let thy heart quiver for a time, teach it to beat

For it be in those times of supposed loneliness

that the heart learns to beat strong, and love greatly

Tis in those times thou'lt realize tis not desolation

but an etude for thy heart for the love to come thy way

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Clamor and Din

Swells oh swells
of hearts and bells
tinkering and beating
lovely, oh sweet thing
barren, or fair
oh what is thy care
this tumbling tumult
oh sweet thing
barreling charging
driving, crying
breaking, shattering
what is this new thing?
words come spilling
minds reeling to keep up
oh smoldering lies
turbulent truths
smashed in tarrying
bumbling and burying
your head in your hands
as decisions were wrong
and right
and back and forwards

Oh I would I were a fool
I weren't, I was, I won't
but it is done and begun
here we are and gone again
hello goodbye and back again
I wish you would have said
goodbye, hello i love you or no
i don't know, just alone
here we go, round and round
oh hello merry go round
what's right or wrong?
maybe its all tick tock
and wrong o'clock
ticking backwards
can't, no -won't tell time
no reason, rhyme
spilling water,
drinking tears,
all for fears, what fears?
it seems there was nothing
none to be done
it was just as it should be
but shouldn't have been
oh lovely love loud din
broken hearts resound within
old happy souls clamoring
It's all of these, righter
wronger, better, stronger
you and mine, I'm not yours
here we go again
but not this time,
it's time and time and wait
and heal from heartbreak

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Shockwaves

Has my heart not reason to lament
to cry over what has been broken
lost, torn from me so suddenly
to wonder what has gone awry
to feel conflicted by the fury
the fire bequeathed to heartstrings
that have been threshed from love
the fury oft called a woman's own
and claimed by no more than She?

aye, cries my heart, aye it does
many a reason have I to lament
but my heart is not broken, and
I find my spirit is not embittered
for it is you I loved, but I knew
it was not this moment in which
we, were meant to be just 'we'
we are meant to be you. and I.
singlely and lonelily, not alone.

You are the fury for which I rage
for which my heart became alive
As lively as the fire of binary suns-
of a thousand binary sunsets, alight.
yet you are not yet the 'you' i know
I have met you far beyond who
you have yet to become just now.
I have met you beyond the present
my heart thrills at who i know will be.

You you you and you alone! You!
The surprise with which i was met
oh the shockwaves from your heart
the awe I felt, you lionize me indeed
What a beautiful feeling it was to see
You became alive to the moment
and saw who I truly was, but too late
As I shimmered before you, you broke
You knew twas alright, but not right now.

Oh we are children. We will wake up
and when we wake, we shall grow up
and when we grow up we will know just
just what it was. time, time, time. it was.
time was not right, not on our side.
But I know your heart, and cannot let go
broken though it was, I love you more
more than just once before. no ideals, no,
this time as you broke and realized truth
I saw what was true, peered into your soul
and saw a glimmer of hope as i saw You.
You for you. for who you are. You you you.
Oh the shockwaves that came from your heart

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Snatch.

O love
it's too late
the fatal utterance
the words were spake
words invested in the air
a feeling doomed all at once
twas too late once you opened up
once the lips parted, it had gone too far
with the severance lingering about our ears
our ears cut by the barbed wire, our lips bleeding
with words that you can't unspeak, fetch back.
settle down, darling, realize that it is done.
time will tell, if it is what you spelled
if we were doomed from the start.
or were these words too rash?
deceitful feeling ensnared
broke your heart and
stole all from you
fatal utterances
left us apart
snatched
love.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Life as a Cage

Heart rings, jangles and cries

an olde alarm clock, jarring you alive

body like a cage, a torso of bars,

alarm clanking against the sides

Twisting funnel for your mind-hole

The thoughts drip into your ears

the words twisting through the tubes

thick dribble of notions tangles on the way

spouting free out of open mouthes

Butterflies trapped in the cage of your body

fluttering against the walls, the bars

You're alone inside, rattling the cage

the limbs make their way through time

taking you from place to place

transporting you through phases and days

Strings grow from your crown, and face

trimmed and cut to standards of another

Skin cloaks your cage, decent-like

empty glass orbs filled with a potion

a liquid iris to glance about this dim world

to color it less grey, to go about the day

You meet another cage, many caged ones

alarm hearts clanging as loudly as your own

Twisted garble words make lame conversation

pained entertainment you can't escape

a captive audience you've been made

Caged masses opiated to caffeinated captivity

Drifting, through loveless, mindless days

Numbed lives as empty as a broken stage

A performance gone down, turned sour

Minds not set free, alarm hearts winding down

ticking last moments through caged suburbia

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Contrast.

Round my heart flits
circling it goes, dizzy in one place
with what was pre-supposed
Prithee what is it's nature?
Flighty as it be, yet steady
fleeting, tho loyal it be
Why does it behave uncontrollably?
Why so dragging, yet abrupt?
How so lazy, and diligent at once?
So discouraged, and ambitious
all at once, and never at all.

Such promise! potential galore
yet trapped in a place, trapped
behind a face, streaming, hurting
broken by fate, alive in every way.
Life escaped, dripped from fingers
Milk trapped in a drain, nowhere goes
Or words of a refrain I never know
An ocean of noise in seas of silence
What is this life? broken like birth
Brimming with potential, ever-moving
facing a dead end, with no end in sight.

How be this nature of things, unbroken
a contradiction of life, yea, of breath!
the stillness of dance, hurried breath of sleep
the noiselessness of a pounding pulse
the love that could never love at all
an embrace that conveys no emotion
a kiss the lips never felt touch at all
It is the energy that turned to lethargy,
the starting sluggish longing to live full life
It is the new warmth to melt a frozen heart,
to ignite the courage of those most afraid.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Long-Distance Lovers' Airwaves

Distance proves itself in swings,
swills of mood, and highs and low
emotions flying through airwaves
some met, some flying past another
unfortunate enough to disconnect

So fault flies and blame is passed
like drinks from one to another
Neurotic moments taken like hits
and ups and downs get harder
with time and space. Breaking
and repairing, distance is unjust

Tensions run high, moods parallel,
but never at the same time, left
and then picked up once discarded,
emotions and rhetoric's ruts run through
repetitively, till habits become tired
tired of themselves, clawing for change

Humor lost to airwaves where faces
have gone missing, and body language
cannot tell what it was meant to speak
Sound has dropped a curtain on wry,
sardonic speech and smirking smiles,
giggling eyes all a-sparkle go unseen

Annoyed indignation, dim hearts, aching ears
the thought of wrongs that can't be righted without
soft touches, the smiles that go unseen, that can forgive
Those soft, unspoken moments are lost as lovers
separated by minutes, miles, cope with long days away

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010