Rude Awakening...

Restlessness strikes our life from time to time. Our desires unmet, curiosity unsatiated, pain unmended, and weariness unended. There are times we attempt not to satisfy these things any longer because we have too oft been faced with disappointment. In these times, rather than working towards a goal, we linger far behind, and like trying to whitewash over a thing, we do not attempt more than to satisfy our craving for our truest life with other things. But the hunger never stops. The craving for life as we are meant to live it never leave our souls, because it is not a thing that can be separated -- it is within us, within our soul, a piece of our spirit. Our calling will not cease to call.
It is when we ignore our innermost self that it begins to cry the loudest. In this moment, we make the silliest mistakes, and act least like ourselves, and act out, until we are rudely wakened to that very realization.

I woke up recently. I had acted as unlike myself as possible, and felt disgusted. It was the sort of rude awakening in which I felt I had found myself in sludge instead of silk. I had to get out of that as quickly as possible. I realized I had ceased to be a lady -- even my pursuit to be a lady! I had allowed the inelegance of the charmless coffee shop at which I work to drain me of my elegance. I had allowed myself to slip into a lonely sadness, one so drained of energy that it sought attention or distraction where it would. My kindness began to fade, my gratitude embarrassing, and my self-control, lacking. And then came the unfortunate mistakes. Silly ones that I ought never have made. For these mistakes, I am deeply sorry. In my embarrassment I removed any element of distraction from my fingertips, and hastily began to right myself. Again I'm beginning to stand taller, speak more eloquently and feel the deep joy that comes only from answering my call. My burst of energy after my pursuits has quickly been answered, and I'm righting myself. I can't help but what wonder if I had not let me lose myself for even a moment, but such thoughts I realize are a waste of energy - a step backwards when I am trying to move forward. So here I am, glad to feel elegantly like myself once again, and very sorry to anyone I may have hurt (or more likely, left bewildered).

~ Aimée, 2010

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone." - Audrey Hepburn

Restored

All in one moment my heart was left
of love, of life and of romance bereft
Such speech ne'er left a soul so dead
No prose ere before left a spirit so black.
Deny it as I would, neither bleak spirit,
nor empty soul could stay secret for long
So loud it cried when to the surface it came
that to my rescue another romantic hied
How my heart unraveled at his words
a counterlogic my heart could not've spell'd
those words unwound these tight binds
and broke the darkness, lifted me to light
What magic is this? Only romantics could know
Yea fortune brought such tenderness to mend
a heart as hardened and broken as this
A heart that nigh swore it felt no longer
but a heart near cursed to die without love
Jamais, jamais, was the unhappy cry of my heart,
now toujours it says to romance, joy anew...

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Set Free

I want to run away
it's time to start anew
start a new life
without the memories
borrowed from the past
or old emotions so untrue
I want to revel in the now
with new lives to love
past positive is not enough
future dreamers, faux love

I want to live as I should
I want to live in the here. now.
Borrowed memories of the past
have held on too long,
I wonder why they last?
Let them not linger on.

No there is no closure
there is only life to be lived
only a new dance in my feet
a new voice in my throat
longing to be let free
to let me sing my new song
the one I've harbored so long
the one I've practiced in secret
in a silence I've abhorred
the silence where I'm ignored

My wings have grown strong
my feathers clipped no more
I'm watching the sun rise
as the light fills my new day
the new dawn over a sea
That separated life from me.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Wake from the Past.

Wake up. O awake.
I'm letting go, getting free
setting up a new story.
It's time to awake
to a dream afresh
to a dream unknown
Time to wake from
a past so dreary
memories so broken
Wake up now. Wake up.
I can't do this anymore
Lingering memories
in the form of bodies
that carry unfamiliar faces
and now I know
as I've grown, they stayed
the past is not the same
Wake up now. Wake up.
The past is no longer a friend.
No the past, the present,
are friends no more.
It's time to wake to the future
Time to set myself free
to take courage for a new story
My story. A story all my own.
Wake up now. Wake up.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Fear of the Lonely

There is a fear I see, a fear I know

it marks thy heart as blood in snow

In that moment, yea, ye tarried too long

an' now realize too late what you had wrong

What is this fear of loneliness you bear?

I recognize the self-same fear for it is...

all too irrational, not uncommon...

Yea, it is innately, irrevocably human.

A fear that threatens alone, to grow old

and with time, thy heart'll grow cold

It seems once two hearts together fail

all hearts become farther from ones own

Only the souls not fully severed seem alive

thy heart reverts -nay, resorts! - to faded love

Loves not well-suited to ones wounded heart

to the touch that would never, in truth, satisfy

In fear, all hope of true unrelenting love is distant

Marry, at times one deems such love as nonexistent!

Nay, destiny'd not be fraught with such loveless fate

Let thy heart quiver for a time, teach it to beat

For it be in those times of supposed loneliness

that the heart learns to beat strong, and love greatly

Tis in those times thou'lt realize tis not desolation

but an etude for thy heart for the love to come thy way

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Clamor and Din

Swells oh swells
of hearts and bells
tinkering and beating
lovely, oh sweet thing
barren, or fair
oh what is thy care
this tumbling tumult
oh sweet thing
barreling charging
driving, crying
breaking, shattering
what is this new thing?
words come spilling
minds reeling to keep up
oh smoldering lies
turbulent truths
smashed in tarrying
bumbling and burying
your head in your hands
as decisions were wrong
and right
and back and forwards

Oh I would I were a fool
I weren't, I was, I won't
but it is done and begun
here we are and gone again
hello goodbye and back again
I wish you would have said
goodbye, hello i love you or no
i don't know, just alone
here we go, round and round
oh hello merry go round
what's right or wrong?
maybe its all tick tock
and wrong o'clock
ticking backwards
can't, no -won't tell time
no reason, rhyme
spilling water,
drinking tears,
all for fears, what fears?
it seems there was nothing
none to be done
it was just as it should be
but shouldn't have been
oh lovely love loud din
broken hearts resound within
old happy souls clamoring
It's all of these, righter
wronger, better, stronger
you and mine, I'm not yours
here we go again
but not this time,
it's time and time and wait
and heal from heartbreak

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Shockwaves

Has my heart not reason to lament
to cry over what has been broken
lost, torn from me so suddenly
to wonder what has gone awry
to feel conflicted by the fury
the fire bequeathed to heartstrings
that have been threshed from love
the fury oft called a woman's own
and claimed by no more than She?

aye, cries my heart, aye it does
many a reason have I to lament
but my heart is not broken, and
I find my spirit is not embittered
for it is you I loved, but I knew
it was not this moment in which
we, were meant to be just 'we'
we are meant to be you. and I.
singlely and lonelily, not alone.

You are the fury for which I rage
for which my heart became alive
As lively as the fire of binary suns-
of a thousand binary sunsets, alight.
yet you are not yet the 'you' i know
I have met you far beyond who
you have yet to become just now.
I have met you beyond the present
my heart thrills at who i know will be.

You you you and you alone! You!
The surprise with which i was met
oh the shockwaves from your heart
the awe I felt, you lionize me indeed
What a beautiful feeling it was to see
You became alive to the moment
and saw who I truly was, but too late
As I shimmered before you, you broke
You knew twas alright, but not right now.

Oh we are children. We will wake up
and when we wake, we shall grow up
and when we grow up we will know just
just what it was. time, time, time. it was.
time was not right, not on our side.
But I know your heart, and cannot let go
broken though it was, I love you more
more than just once before. no ideals, no,
this time as you broke and realized truth
I saw what was true, peered into your soul
and saw a glimmer of hope as i saw You.
You for you. for who you are. You you you.
Oh the shockwaves that came from your heart

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Snatch.

O love
it's too late
the fatal utterance
the words were spake
words invested in the air
a feeling doomed all at once
twas too late once you opened up
once the lips parted, it had gone too far
with the severance lingering about our ears
our ears cut by the barbed wire, our lips bleeding
with words that you can't unspeak, fetch back.
settle down, darling, realize that it is done.
time will tell, if it is what you spelled
if we were doomed from the start.
or were these words too rash?
deceitful feeling ensnared
broke your heart and
stole all from you
fatal utterances
left us apart
snatched
love.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Life as a Cage

Heart rings, jangles and cries

an olde alarm clock, jarring you alive

body like a cage, a torso of bars,

alarm clanking against the sides

Twisting funnel for your mind-hole

The thoughts drip into your ears

the words twisting through the tubes

thick dribble of notions tangles on the way

spouting free out of open mouthes

Butterflies trapped in the cage of your body

fluttering against the walls, the bars

You're alone inside, rattling the cage

the limbs make their way through time

taking you from place to place

transporting you through phases and days

Strings grow from your crown, and face

trimmed and cut to standards of another

Skin cloaks your cage, decent-like

empty glass orbs filled with a potion

a liquid iris to glance about this dim world

to color it less grey, to go about the day

You meet another cage, many caged ones

alarm hearts clanging as loudly as your own

Twisted garble words make lame conversation

pained entertainment you can't escape

a captive audience you've been made

Caged masses opiated to caffeinated captivity

Drifting, through loveless, mindless days

Numbed lives as empty as a broken stage

A performance gone down, turned sour

Minds not set free, alarm hearts winding down

ticking last moments through caged suburbia

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Contrast.

Round my heart flits
circling it goes, dizzy in one place
with what was pre-supposed
Prithee what is it's nature?
Flighty as it be, yet steady
fleeting, tho loyal it be
Why does it behave uncontrollably?
Why so dragging, yet abrupt?
How so lazy, and diligent at once?
So discouraged, and ambitious
all at once, and never at all.

Such promise! potential galore
yet trapped in a place, trapped
behind a face, streaming, hurting
broken by fate, alive in every way.
Life escaped, dripped from fingers
Milk trapped in a drain, nowhere goes
Or words of a refrain I never know
An ocean of noise in seas of silence
What is this life? broken like birth
Brimming with potential, ever-moving
facing a dead end, with no end in sight.

How be this nature of things, unbroken
a contradiction of life, yea, of breath!
the stillness of dance, hurried breath of sleep
the noiselessness of a pounding pulse
the love that could never love at all
an embrace that conveys no emotion
a kiss the lips never felt touch at all
It is the energy that turned to lethargy,
the starting sluggish longing to live full life
It is the new warmth to melt a frozen heart,
to ignite the courage of those most afraid.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Long-Distance Lovers' Airwaves

Distance proves itself in swings,
swills of mood, and highs and low
emotions flying through airwaves
some met, some flying past another
unfortunate enough to disconnect

So fault flies and blame is passed
like drinks from one to another
Neurotic moments taken like hits
and ups and downs get harder
with time and space. Breaking
and repairing, distance is unjust

Tensions run high, moods parallel,
but never at the same time, left
and then picked up once discarded,
emotions and rhetoric's ruts run through
repetitively, till habits become tired
tired of themselves, clawing for change

Humor lost to airwaves where faces
have gone missing, and body language
cannot tell what it was meant to speak
Sound has dropped a curtain on wry,
sardonic speech and smirking smiles,
giggling eyes all a-sparkle go unseen

Annoyed indignation, dim hearts, aching ears
the thought of wrongs that can't be righted without
soft touches, the smiles that go unseen, that can forgive
Those soft, unspoken moments are lost as lovers
separated by minutes, miles, cope with long days away

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Half Heart

My love, a bitter heart is not what you deserve
All my love is what you deserve, and so I vow
that all my love, and only all, is what you'll have
No sighs of former memories, not half my heart
My love, here I promise you to catch my tongue
I've had plenty of time to heal, and here I feel
it is time to let myself realize, I have been set free
I am free of all these woes - it's time for me to move
You set my heart alight with your love, soaring!
My desire to live was magnified and multiplied
I loved you as I was meant to love, but fear?
This fear that I would lose you was set upon me
There is no place for such a fear, if I love you-
but only if I love you with my all, as I should.
So, my love, you with whom I walk in dreams
Here is my heart. I set myself bare before you
Here I start afresh. My heart is clean and new
The slate is blank, and only my love for you
is written upon my heart. You have my all <3

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Recycled Monotony

 
Something about that dull repetition of habit
the ritual of the same day to day to day to day...
Broke my heart into pieces, I couldn't be, no,
I could never stand to be tamed with the world.
What if my thorns were ever broken off again?
I couldn't stand the pain of being broken down,
being chained, tied down in colorless routine,
in a colorless world filled with identical grey suits

But now my thorns grow back as I break free
You can't fight fate, break me of my destiny!
I won't be confined to mundane convention--
My life is meant for so much more than that
I'll watch from afar as each one of you regress-
fall into the monotony of recycled conversation
from which you'll lapse into soporific silence...
O Suffocating end, memories of old thorns forgot

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Facade

A burden of secrets
is not a life I care for
It seems such a facade
is all too common.
A look, a smirk
a motive hidden
all behind a smile
and sweet guile.
It seems this mask
this facade has become
the quotidian standard
to this American life.
It seems everyone
has a secret, their purpose
and hides the wit
so used to tear one down.
Every mask has another.
Frivolous layers to deceive
A voice for each acquaintance
and a style for each smile.
The snark and wit
have been lost
to generations trained
only in mischief,
in betrayal and want.
How petty the games
How cutthroat the lives.
Loyalty is relative.
Honesty is destroyed
and trust is lost.
Play the game,
get what you want,
then play again
so you don't get caught.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Indulgent

Call me indulgent,
if you must, but
it seems that love
can be nothing less.
A lover cannot keep
from indulging in such
a thing as his lovers'
heart, his very desire.
Love is indulgent
by its very nature.
A smooth, constant
current - flowing
through the heart.
It is ungraspable,
and a thing that longs
to be spoken of,
indulged in, tended to.
A heart would grow
weary. tired. and ache
if only it were to try
to keep its love
to itself. It would
burst, if kept a secret.
Hearts can only keep
love as a secret, for
so long - before the
very essence spills out,
the heart bursting
as love bubbles in
overabundance.
So my dear, yes,
do not chide me-
for a lover in love
cannot help to revel
in the pleasure love
brings. A lover may
seem self-indulgent,
but is rather indulging
in the other, and is
carried away on the
high of having it all
to keep it for himself.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Destiny and Distance

Such span of place and time
has made my heart weary
Nay, not weary of love
But weary with love
My love! how I long to be
close to you just now
close again, forever more
I never knew my heart
could grow weary
for loving too much
- without release!
But at long last
I grow weary of being
unable to love you
just as I am meant.
How harsh! How cruel!
For destiny to wait til
such long last - and then
to hold us prisoners
of love and distance.
I would give it all
to be with the one who
loves me as no other can
and none before ever has.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Raconteur

A soft rising and falling
a lull in my breath, my
lashes flit as moth wings
as I listen to the sound
of twisted tales' songs.
Your voice ripples soft as
stories painting themselves
Your voice mellifluous,
dripping as though with
honey, folding my mind,
twisting my imagination
all round your illusive tales.
It was unreal to have found
you - such a dearth of your
kind, of your caliber! I am
loath to lose you, to ever
let you go. You who limn
a poetic photograph of my
less-than-lucid dreaming life.
Wherefore would you stop
spinning tales of wonder
for my eyes to dream? No,
mon amour, never stop.
We can spin our world, as
in lucid dreams, just as we
like. Our love came out of
nothing, and yet, so strong.
Tell me again. Per Aspera
Ad Astra. No, never let me
forget it. But for now, let
me hold you so close. Your
stories woven so soft, they
envelop me in your hearts
warmth as we drift to dreams.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Jack of my Dreams

Dearest Gentleman, O Jack of my dreams
I daren't say, no, tis folly to admit that ye,
O most artfully spoken, thoughtful of men,
That thou'st become trapped in my thoughts
Yea, ye, sir Knight, do not slip my memories
Ye to whom my heart has become betrothed

Though tis ill-advised for a lady to admit
Ye, the man who pretends not to kiss n' tell
O my GentleJack, in my dreams do dwell
To be with thee, to be- O eternally! - thine
There is nothing other t' cross my mind

My love 'cross distance makes its pains
but such breach doth not diminish my love
Nay, only makes hearts longing grow strong'r
O dear heart, I beg of thee, tell of thy love!
Let my heart not pant in vain, at such cost
Prove thine own hearts lustless pains for me

So I bid thee, O GentleLove of my dreams
Let not thy love be as molasses, make haste!
Let love quick make its way to me, unbarred
Prithee let no words mark me as vixen or cur
Let no such err'd words pry thy heart from mine.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

absence

My heart is met with a gentle tinge of longing as I quietly -- unadmittedly -- await a trickle of your prose, a gentle sigh of poetry from your lips, or writ to me. A slight dawn in the back of my mind, a gentle nudge realizes that I do not know you so well... that the gentle gaze I met dream-ways I scarcely remember. -and, in truth, you are a man who, years on now, I've scarcely known. My thoughts wander far, as my heart tries to reminisce, but finds itself erring, retracing its steps only back through dreams. Could I know you at all? Would the man I meet be the man I thought? I hope you have not fooled my heart with a faux front of luscious words. I hope my imaginings have not been too unkind, in fantastic injustice; but I hope my heart has not been so generous that it crumbles with disappointment when we meet again....

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Romanticize, Idealize

I move with swift as the wind
my spirit lifts with the breeze
the heart of a vagabond in me
I wonder if you could keep up

Could you read me
when there are no words?
Could you know my thoughts
when I say nothing at all?

Will you dream with me
without me having to share?
Will I have to explain it all
or will your heart beat along

I romanticize and idealize
Come away with me, so far
it's you I want to run wild with
but are you who I think you are....

My summer love, my romantic
you left love and thought behind
all to see if I would take a chance
on a chance encounter still remember'd

Your voice was sweeter than I recall'd
Read, tell me stories, let me fall asleep
But are your arms as sweet and strong
to hold me ever after beyond my fantasy

Could you fight through my silence
fight past any facade my words spell
and know my mind, know my heart?
I hope so, or I could never hold on

Fly with me, where the breeze takes me
Take my hand, and live through dreams
It's time we finally run, run far away
Our hearts are already far ahead of us

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Could You Love Me Well?

Where are the Gentlemen...?
Men with their skewed fedoras
sitting atop their heads at a dangerous tilt
Men with lovely words on their lips
and literature stored library-like in their heads

Where are these men, as gentlemen?
who let girls be the ladies they long to be
The men without boorish manner
or vulgar thoughts unfit for daylight?
Gentlemen, let the ladies be ladies!

Oh shy gentleman, watching me slyly
you meek of word, hiding your love away
Why do you pronounce love in latter?
"My ladylove, how I once loved you so
-but was too shy to tell you, was I"

A mockery you make of ladies waiting
ladies waiting to be. A lady. A lady to you.
but instead fawned on by unseemly gits
who make a doe-eyed daisy, a beauty
feel like scum, to be doted on by such...

Take note, I am very much. too much...
for those unfit to have me on their arm
My insatiable curiosity is entirely tiresome
for those who wish to only be comfortable
For one who sees a prize, not a creator-love

I dare ask: If you knew me well, could you-
yes, would you! Could you love me well?
Could you not merely stand, but ever adore
me in my constant creativity, my need to love
my desire for knowledge of everything ever after

Or would you see me as unsatisfiable -- a bother
Would you find yourself too terribly annoyed
Restless at my 'prolific output'? Intimidated?
No, tis not what my heart needs. or could want!
Your own shiftless mind would be in my way

So my shy gentleman, you'd best ready your heart
don't think your heartfilled words will go to waste,
unless you let time wither away. Grab your hat,
fedora at tilt, books and french new wave in mind
and let the lovely words slip from your sweet tongue

If your heart is like mine, your mind as eager,
and your hands willing to work, then let it be!
Let's see the world! Who wants to settle down!?
Let your paints meet mine on a canvas we'll share.
If you knew me well, I'm sure you'd love me well

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Truth of Consolation.

A heart that seeks one thing
relentlessly
cannot be consoled out of
lack thereof
A friend who seeks counsel
can't be helped
if he dwells only on the thing
he pretends
to want to be consoled of.

I do not mean that consolation
cannot be had, or achieved by
one who truly seeks sympathy
No, comfort is possible, indeed,
if one can learn to grieve a thing

But a friend who barrages after a thing
who hangs on, obsessing over a thing
and yet, makes no movement, at all
neither forward, nor back
cannot be helped to an objective.

A man who wishes to fight loneliness
who wishes to hold a ladylove close
will never find that if he moans all day
but never opens his heart to a woman
repeatedly closing every one of them out

A woman who seeks status in career
will never achieve such a status
if she only dreams of it, but alas
never pursues it, sitting idly
as the world passes her by

A filmmaker who desperately longs
to make a film, to be on set, on camera,
to see his dream alive on silver screen
but cannot make it out of his own town
and yet, makes no efforts forward
but lies sullenly in thoughts of woe
a sadness of not being there
will never see his film be made alive.

Consolation cannot be given to one
who does not truly seek that comfort
but seeks only to constantly express
the distress of not being able to work
towards having what he most wants.

But a dreamer may find he has
everything
if he is only content with seeing
his dreams
as his entire world, not wanting
more
than what fantasy there he finds.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

MirrorFace

The mirror face looks so different
than her heart says she feels
but she has no time,
no time to think
to realize it's true,
the mirror spells denial

And as the mirror fades
back into her mind
and the day has fallen
her face falls with the dark
and the drink in her eyes
says she wants to cry

The walls speak the lonely
her whole day had gone by
just serving as distraction
She shuts her eyes, imagines
that people in the photographs,
and their voices, are all around her

With a breath on her neck
she dares not open her eyes
But the breath is gone
before she can think to look
And so, the noise of silence
clangs on through the house...

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Ghosts in the Windows

  
Some days are mock sadness
A dropping of the heart
for no apparent reason at all
Quickly there, silently holding on

The ghosts reflected in the windows
stop and stare, as your heart lurches
in fright of what you fear you saw
the ghosts of memories past
the trailings of love unrequited
the dregs of unstrirred thoughts

But the ghosts in the window
staring, were never really there
Just streetlights, yellow and blue,
your own face, staring back mellow

Wish a wish on a star you've never seen
you pray that the hole in your heart
is just a passing phase, will glide away
The black mark beneath your chest
seems just as lonely as it ne'er was before
and you wonder, what was this feeling for?

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Without.

  
A romantic without romance
is like a heart that beats faint
a dreamer who wakes,
but cannot remember

A lover without love
is one who feels,
when there is no touch
someone who craves a taste
of lips not yet felt

A dreamer without sleep
finds confusion in waking
remembering a vague reality
something they cannot pinpoint
a surreality they understood so well

An artist afraid to create, to feel-
A heart in a holding pattern-
is all these things, broken and alone
Unable to to be loved by one not there
Unable to wake into their living dreams
Unable to love a heart longing to loved

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

UnGrieved Past.

Wrap your arms around me
as my heart breaks
pelted by memory
each shattering a new hope
each a smashed former-dream

Hold me tight. close.
let me know it's alright
through your arms
for in this moment,
my ears have forgotten
how to understand sense

Hold me tighter. closer.
My heart is churning
throttling with pain
adrenaline of ungrieved past
making its way up my throat
pushing aside breath as it comes

As tears waterfall down my face
the memory becomes real
threatening my every future moment
it's tight grasp holding my breath
piercing my dreams in its claws

Stop. Don't hold me so close
let me stumble, let me tremble
let the grief overwhelm me
watch me as I hit the floor
but don't leave my side

Let it all wash over me
like a drowning wave-
but never let me go under
I need to fight this rage, pain
my withered heart needs to learn
remember. how to be strong again.
Pure grief-laden catharsis.
Let it come. Let it be.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Note to my lovely followers :)

Hello my Lovelies! 


I'm looking to get published soon, and I wanted some input from you. Since you guys have left such amazing comments, and been so kind to me, I wanted to include you where I could in this creative process:
What are your favorites of what I have written? 
I'm going to piece these together in a small collection, and want to know which ones you think are best! 


I can't wait to hear from you guys!


All my love,
-Michele

Thanks.

A thank you-
to artists
to writers
to painters
-unafraid.
To photographers
cinematographers
and visionaries alike

To those who took the initial step
of overcoming fear
and stepping into the creative

It is this, that inspires me.

It is this, that drives me to become.
become more courageous,
more creative
more alive with every day.

Is it this that gives me cause
to live, to breathe, to create
to be.

This is my thanks
to artists
who made beauty
that made me feel
more alive

My thanks
to art that helped me
find my purpose
know my heart
and heal my wounds.

This is my thanks
knowing
that you have courage.
to create.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

A Sadness

Sometimes, when a sadness
spun by loneliness
comes to the surface
-with no remedy-
it is best to find sleep
and meet a dream
that will wrap its arms around you
and make things alright....

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Tillytales of Lovelockets and Wunderloves

Yea in tender times, life flings dirt, throwing hurt on wounds, spitter bitter spat-- destroying the moment when hearts are in most leapbeats, pitter pat.

Tenderlove is a force, a thing unsatiated. A lovelocket aflame, a heart so alive in wondrificous compluvication. A welt, a wound cannot stop a warhearted wunderlovelocket in love with everyone, under-time, allover, for everly-ever!

Such wunderdrug, love is. Tis like being drunk, tipsy in tenderlove at all time. A curious drug that sends one into curiotrances of lovers dances.

What sort of thing is this? To be unafraid, to be unabashedly overbashed? trapped in repe-tative groove rut of underwhomping, overwelping thumpaweeping?

To be caught in fishtangled lovemangled nets of lovesuckers' hunters in an ocean, once thought to be filled with noughtly more than drops of lovelockets heartseeping lifelops.

Curious enoughly, the waters of loveseep-drops are filled with such bloodbeat hungry sharks, those fishers who hang their lovepiercing hooks in the water, just waiting to mangle a lovebiter who can do nothing less than leap at every chance to feed their loveful heart hungry enamoreyes so entranced by loves filfuelfires, who long to be held close to similar hot hearts that seep endless love to each others bloodlockets.

But I'm not afraid! No tearful fearfiller will steal my joyful wunderfillment that such lovelockets as mine derive life from. Such wonderplace things cannot be distinguished without lifejoints failing. No, we must meet death before we can part from such foolication as wunderdrugging on tenderlove!

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Love-lost Limbo

I awake in dreams
not from reality
but to dreams
away from the surreal
to another real

But when in dreams, I go to sleep,
waking to dreary, broken reality
how am i to know what it is I escape?
Do i wake from dreams
or do i wake from reality, to dreams....

Before, in that surreal

My heart was

not worried

not bothered

not bent or broken

My escape.

Dream and real have now shifted
And he for whom my heart longed
has begun to haunt me- so i wish,
oh, i wish! to wake to my other reality
but am conflicted. what is real?

I wake
to dreams
Haunted
I sleep
to the real
heart alive

The world that once was my real world,
as my dreams were my favored reality
now haunted as he, no, they, follow me
They haunt me, and I cannot have them
Nor can I escape them, in this twisted earth,
this love-lost limbo for the loveless and lonely.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

unMemory

You were everything I wanted
-but then again none of it at all
We were so attached, so close-
but your eyes were so far away
You held me close, but we were
so far apart

When distance took us far
our hearts were closer than near
My close in ideal imagined love
You were all I wanted, if only,
yes, if only I imagined so

The same couldn't be said for you
You, who forgot me, drifting away
You forgot how your heart loved
when my heart was not beating,
no, not in rhythm alongside yours,
the smell of my hair in your breath

I, so many miles and minutes away,
felt your skin 'neath my fingers,
Your body pressed against mine,
your soft breath over my skin,
your arms strong 'round me,
holding me lovely

My mind has lost. forgotten. ideal.
perfect. imaginary. remembered you...
lost track of what really is. was.
would have. could have, was going to be.
Memory serves hearts in love? unwell.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Some Hearts need new words

What is this love?

A lovelift for no one

a lovegift for someone

Someone unmet

Someone 'introknown'

A heart so full of love

A heart set free of ache

But a love, lonelily at last

A love freely given

But unmet in 'givitation'

A love for love

a longing for love

Love for being loved

Love, raw, impassioned

A heart too full to be alone.

But this love for someone

Is not lonelily with no one

But gleemating with hope

Blossoming in utter 'jollitude'

-it needs new words to describe!

A love that waits impatient

yet is patient for its Unmet

A love not so freely given

and yet too freely dispersed,

unable to be desirated singly, lonelily

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Fool.

My heart lurches for a moment
the drink in my hand forgotten
You carved out a place in my heart
so long, so deep - so foolish am I
With a wave of shame, I realize
someone so unworthy of my heart
has taken my heart captive, strong
and held me in one place, so tight
My heart aches at your absence...

My love still beats weak inside
though I wish it would subside
A habit so ingrained in my heart
but a habit so useless from the start
I wanted to be rid of you so oft -
but you always made your way back
How did you take me so captive?
so enslaved to your heart and self?
It was the last my heart could want.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Last Goodbye

He had no idea
no, he'll never know.
Never know what he had
Never know what could've been.

He ended it.
Stopped it so cold,
He left my heart still burning
He never knew what could've been.

He had no idea
How much I loved
or my heart was brimming
when he told me we would be no more

It was cold
my world shattered
I hardly had time to know
What had hit me, before he was gone

My heart was
so full of love and life
and my dreams were ready
my life asking to be lived and shared

Then he was
gone. No warning
Just a love that never was
a chaser who's flame had fizzled.

I so wished
for a path back to him
a life with him, another chance
but hurt keeps us apart, still broken

My dear,
You don't know
What you've said no to
What a colorful life you could've had.

My love,
You have no idea
What chance you turned down
When you told my heart goodbye, for the last time.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Dreamer and a dream

She was just a dreamer
he was living her dream
While she worked hard
to get out of her small town
to pursue, to live her dream
He lived it, sighing for less

She worked behind a bar
ignoring her sorrows
He sat at a bar
drowning his sorrows in drink
His frustrations were her joy
and she could not see how
he was such a thankless boy

Once she loved him dear
but he quick forgot her
when they were far apart
She had wished to live that life
together with him
but he couldnt see her for her joy
he couldn't love her joy at all.

She was just a dreamer
While he lived her dream
But she knew, someday,
it would be more than a dream....

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

A Love's End, So Fateful

Thank you, at last
for a gift so lovely
a gift that broke me
For a poison too familiar
For tears not unfamiliar
Your love was never
too sweet, too soft
because your love?
Never truly was.

Your love never could
be all mine ever would
your mind still young
you were such a child
with a heart too afraid
and a love that couldnt
nay - didn't know how-
how to take risks, to be
to be fully, completely
entirely in love, with me.

I say me, yes, only me
Not chasing another girl
following after other skirts
skirts not my own, not me
You heart was never true
and my heart always knew
but my heart, in love,
did as hearts do - overlooked.
Overlooked, and denied ---
and oh, how my heart cried

So thank you, fated lover
for your disappearance
for a heartbreak so fatal
a love's end so fateful
We were never meant to be
and now, thanks to you
I can finally clearly see
Tears cleansed my eye
and what I knew to be-
that you were not, nay,
could not be half that man
not the man I needed.
Now I can wait anew
for that man, better than you!

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Blank Verse

Rediscovered some unrhyming iambic pentameter I wrote 2 years back.
Enjoy!

Ill-worn soul, more worthless than specks of dirt

I purposed not to be so low a fool!

Black, serpentine lusts ensnare thy poor heart

Mine heart spattered so too, could not away

O damn spot! Charge not my heart as vixen!

O mar of my soul! Why mark you me cur?

Why make you me ready with loves heartstrings pluck'd?

"Despair and hope make thee ridiculous"!

How you spurn me! My wrath doth boil in me

Give thy venom! Thou'st already poison'd my heart,

With malice, burden'd it. Anger burns my cheeks!

Thy angry charge, not desert of my crime!

Exasperated youth has broken my flesh

And oh! yours, the self-same burden has brought.

There is but fire in thy heart! Of lovers valor!

Brimstone in thy liver, as betroth'ed guard!

Excellence, dear heart, why thou bids't me silent?

Well wounded, love doth beg me mute and blind

Nay! my soul acheth not for banishment!

O, tell me not to hence from thy sweet sight

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2008, renewed copyright 2010

Slow Down.

 

What would have happened

what could have been,

if time could have slowed...

In slow motion,

I would have seen

your heart as it skipped

skipped a beat

as you tried to tell me

tell me you loved me

But I was too quick

I knew the moment

but passed it by

flew by it too fast

Slowed down,

I would have seen

the selfishness

of other accusations

And we would still be.

But I listened too quick

I thought too fast

and felt too much

and I lost all I loved

I lost what was dear to me

Had we slowed down

You could have seen,

you would have felt

how my heart loved

you could have seen

the adoration in my voice

Heard the love

in my embrace

But you were too quick

Your mind raced too fast

You saw things 

not as they were

Speed distorted love

And now I find myself

Alone, and lonely

When I'd rather be 

with you

in your arms

listening to your heart beat

I wish I weren't

Alone. Lonely.

My heart's still brimming

brimming with love

a love that hurts so bad

What can I do with a heartache

For a love just reignited in me

A love that wasn't re-met...

How can I grieve...?

I just can't let my heart cry

Somehow I still hold on

I can't let go, though I know

I need to forget you--

Just once more.

But somehow?

I'm sure you'd meet me

You'd just find me

and still love me. again...

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Visions of Night

The stars are hung
from the the ceiling of sky
like tear droplets
lit up by a distant joy,
against the dark cloak of night

Like sparkling diamonds
twinkling in a deep blue sea
Shooting stars are a glimmer
of hope, for those who wish
their hearts were strong enough to see

It seems we've long forgot
the soft blanket of night
that once served to inspire
'fore bright screens & neon lights
shrouded visions of night from our eyes

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

A Little Romance

The doors swung open 

There you were

Glorious in your fedora

and handsome in that jacket

Cappuccino in one hand

and music in your ear

Both were quick forgotten

as your gaze turned my way

A little Italian romance

A little smooth French talk

Your heart was so sweet

and your speech sincere

As you beckoned me to come,

to leave my apron and towel

My heart skipped a beat

Hot coffee in hand, forgot

We could have caught the train

we could have caught the ferry

But we just walked on

The smell of snapdragons in the air

With a daisy tucked in my hair

Your cologne still on my sleeve

I watched the doors swing shut

visions of you, lingered through the night

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Tears in my Smile

This time it seemed right
thought you would fight
fight to keep my heart

Don't know why I held on
thought you were gone
looks like I was right

Wish I could get over
-wouldn't gloss over,
wish I could be over you

You left me, hung me out to dry
seems like this time we didn't try
You left my heart in love with you

You were ever on my mind
but in the end you weren't so kind
as you let me know - it was over

Though I don't want to cry
smiles leave tears in my eye
and I wish you'd be more for me

Together we built our dreams
but oh, I know- nothing is as it seems
I feel I was alone from the start

My heart has ached enough
But I can't pretend to be tough
You make it hard to get over you

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

your short goodbye

So there it was
a short goodbye
Now I find a memory
playing through my eye

I recall the colors of the sounds
the tastes of what I saw
and the smells
of all the emotions felt

There's a sadness to my smile
a sweetness to my tears
I wish joy would stay awhile
though there's a lightness to my fears

I reach out to touch, to feel
But there's nothing there
The sounds and sights of now
disperse any memory I longed to hold

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Finality.

 
I could tell
by your voice
that your heart needed it
to be set free
to take some time to soar
to sing with the angels
to know His heart
as you haven't
not in so long

But when you said goodbye
for now, only for now,
just for a little while
something about it
it was different
so broken, so heavy
there was such a finality
something said....
it's finished.
no more.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Now you're gone.

  
I would be lying to myself
to say it didn't matter
My heart would be deceived
to think it didn't shatter

The tears drip down my face
and the moments drag on
Despite promises you speak
I feel that you've gone

The knot ties tight in my throat
it sticks firm with tears I can't swallow
Though I wish I could ignore it
Your absence makes my stomach feel hollow

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Stay.

Sometimes Im almost afraid
afraid it'll happen once more
That I won't escape it
It will follow me around
That curse of betrayal
The wound of being left
That you, like he,
will just leave me,
leave me alone
leave without a word
without a second thought

Sometimes I fear
you will do just the same
But then I'm reminded
of the heartache
and I realize
I don't care at all
What he once did
made him unworthy of
my while. of me.
If you did the same,
you would be as he

But this time i know
You're not the same
Neither is my heart
so gullible as before
I'm cold at the thought
but only cold to hurt
to the chance of pain
Not to the opportunity
to love, to feel
to cherish
to hold you near

Is it so wrong to say
I don't care that you go,
I only care that you stay?

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Brimming with Longing

Where are the words
when you long to speak?

Where are the stories
that you feel, ache, and wish to tell?

Where is the song
when your heart wants to sing.
again. a new song this time.

What is it when your heart
brims with longing?

Where does it come from,
why is it there now,
and where was it before?

My heart is filled just so.

Because of aches, pain
yearning,
I know I'm alive.
I remember, and breathe.

Can such ache ever be settled?
Truly? Or slightly?
Do we forget that we long?
Or forget how to yearn at all

I find the things I seek
are happiest, not when fulfilled
but when lived with love and laughter.

But longing without love or future
is bleak, hopeless and unsettled.

A yearning with no rest, and no hope
met with unhappiness is pain.

Where are the words,
when you want most, only to speak?
But there is nothing to say.

Where are the stories,
when you long to do nothing more than tell?
Tell stories you feel, but do not know.

Where is the new song,
when you crave a song unsung, a music unheard?

When your heart has run dry, and the music is stale.

Where is the relief,
when your heart is filled with longing,
but life is met with hopelessness, and unrest...

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Wiser Hearts

 
All these years, through time gone by
Beyond our troubles, you're by my side

What we thought lost, was never gone

It is not just renewed -- No, it's not the same
Our hearts and eyes have seen much change

The first time we glanced, and looked again
there was a smirk we both had to know

Never could we have known with what pains we'd grow.

Sweet and innocence turned to vile moments
a meanness unplanned, a heartaches bemoaned.

But after such time, we learned the better
and began to grow; closer, wiser through the unknown

You know my new heart and I, yours,
we've separated from our past selves...through a Great divorce.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

War of the Heart and Mind

 
It's late, once more,
as tears prick my eyes
which do I trust?
My heart, or my mind?
My heart say yes,
it loves someone so
and longs so much more

But is it my mind that fights?
Is it my thoughts that rebel?
My memories, I think,
do not serve me too well.
Do I love, or do I not?
The two war so fierce
so I cannot know myself

Wherein lies the truth?
Is love my heart's pride?
What know my thoughts!
Memories are oft changed
and bliss is oft forgot
overshadowed, confused.
ill memories seem more true

I'm terrified to find out
which part of me is wrong
What path do I take?
Is one worth more risk
than one more heartache?
Heart and mind have warred 'nough.
This locked box, what does it hide?

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Trials

I should've known
from the start
It wasn't your fault,
but her jealous heart

All to trusting
we can be
So broken,
gullible, naive

Those trials came
that broke us
The pain came,
muddled our focus

But now that it's over
I'm only grateful
We've only grown
I never lost you after all

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

What hearts think

Impassioned words are often writ,
shared without a second thought
Some words as a sword, wound deep
and are followed everlong by regret

Other words are written to cope
written as healing, kept tucked away
Words that make their way in hearts
and find themselves full of wisdom

Passionate words spill onto pages
some spilled with grieving tears
others seethingly blotted in ink
But all reveal what hearts do think

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

In Dreams

It is in dreams
      that I find what I seek
But I find no joy
      in that from which I wake
For dreams are only dreams
      and from them I cannot take
When I wake from slumber
     I find my heart is weak

What heartache I find!
When burrowed deep in
      the corners of my mind
What tragedy there is!
To always dream
      but never grasp

In my mind I live
     over, over and again
A love with me
     a love I can give
A life I long for
     the way I would live
But when I wake I am
     nowhere; I cannot pretend

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Intermission

Hello dear Readers!

I'm taking a little bit of time off from my Midnight Adventures for a little while;-- I'm working on a full-length screenplay, so I'm devoting my time to that as I work towards finishing it.

Wish me luck! I'll be back soon enough! :)

-Michele

Only You

At the time
You were the only one
the only one to know
know my heart
know my mind
to know my love

You were gone
You left me so hastily
and though it was only you
someone new will come
He will find, learn, explore
more than you ever would

Though you once were
it seems you are no more
My heart is fresh
ready to see the world
in a better way than before
Though before, it was with you

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

100 Posts!

Yes, I've reached 100 pieces of Prose and Poetry!! Just thought I should share that :) It's kind of an exciting milestone to realize that I've written so much only since June.

That's all. Now that I've shared -- carry on :)

-Beloved

The Fear

There are times
when the fear
takes us over
It drives us in the way
we live and love

It is the fear that drives

our decisions

however drastic

or unforeseen

Sometimes it is the fear

that drives us

The fear that takes our hearts

and lets us go no further

It is the fear that keeps us,

keeps our hearts in check

It is fear that will keep you 

from loving, from caring at all

It will make you 

take back your heart

and hide, back at the start

It was the fear that
drove you away from me
The fear that stole your heart
as you ran into the dark
The fear that I would leave
as you knew I had to
but that I would leave,
forget you, and your love

You couldn't bear to see me go
the thought of heartbreak
the idea of losing me to time
So instead, you took your heart,

You ran so fast, I never saw you go,

Darling, even now I can't forget
I never wanted to see you go
and I hope this, you will regret
My heart aches at your insolence
cutting me off, ignoring my upset
Replacing me with someone who
won't care; whose love you won't share

Don't be so cold
I know you still care
It's not been too long
but wait much longer
and I can promise-
if you return
I won't be there...

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Loyal, Locked In.

  
Some hearts are loyal
some crave loyalty
Some stay on the surface
and some crave depth
For a heart like mine
a heart so loyal to yours
You've err'd in your way
Abandoned,
I'm still here

Locked in a room with you
You left me there alone
trapped with memories
with your breath
your scent
and time to think of you
You locked me inside
took the key and left
left me barely alive

Don't leave a loyal heart
leave me high and dry
leave me alone inside
Leave me with no reason
no rhyme.

Struggling, fighting

an internal war.

Come back, 

Release me

or give me my key

Where is the light?
Where is a lamp,
A phone-call,
A lifeline to you?
Nothing. No-one.
It's all gone,
all out of doors -
while I'm locked inside

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Lonely Night

There are some nights
like tonight
where the loneliness
is so strong
I wish you hadn't gone

How does a heart cope?
You vanished.
How can I come to terms
with losing
My closest friend in a moment

You were all I loved, wanted
You disappeared
I shared my heart and soul with you
Was it nothing?
I fell for you, but was left in tears

I thought I hurt or frightened you,
sent you running away
What have I done? No, now I realize...
I had it all wrong
It was never me - it was you all along.

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Endless longing

Several fortnights have I waited

and still I wait upon thee

My heart ails in my loveless luster

My soul wails, for I have naught

Suffering this loss be too much to bear

Oh my lord, my love,

wilt thou ever return to me?

Though I wait patient

I scarcely dare admit my longing

though all know tis thy love I long for....

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2009/ 2010

the eyes that once loved

What lust can do
is not so scant a thing
It can break your life
that takes your love's heart

Tis a ruinous lie
a passionate ploy
a word, a gesture
all so sly

but lust
comes without love
lust can destroy
those eyes that once love

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2009/ 2010

Missing.

The pain of missing someone
Someone you loved and lost
May be the starkest you ever feel

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Ladder Love

Perched on a ladder
I see you climbing ladder love
You're grasping a new rung,
still holding on to the last one

You've taken my heart
for granted, quick to depart,
You grabbed onto the next rung
Forsooth, quick to forget my heart

I see your longing
for commitment, so bizarre
longing to be committed to
but not wanting to commit too

I thought you didn't think
my heart to be worth your time
Guess I was wrong - it looks like
you think your heart wasn't worth mine

You always chided me, saying
don't let your love be like a ladder
Yet you did worse than I, finding the next,
before our end - as though I mattered not...

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010

Rootless

Oh drinking fool
with your drunken heart
You don't have to be
a beautiful disaster
You are not chaos
Your heart is a maze
and you feel trapped
by the walls and ceilings
that have you blocked out

You find yourself locked in
Your once open expanses
your endless valleys
have been taken over
by a maze of high walls
Running round and round
crashing into dead ends
getting more and more lost
more frantic as you go--

Stop!

Oh dear heart,
You need to be set free!
I'm watching you,
falling,
leaning, bending, broken
like a rootless tree
Your mind is twisting
like gnarled, knotted branches
You're rotting to your core

Slow down,
Find the living waters
take root by the streams
take a deep breath
and drink deep
Restore life to your core
be rotten no more
Cease to be lost
in the maze of your heart

© copyright by Michèle Aimée Lahaie, 2010